Committed relationships are a playground to explore the depths of intimacy, love and passion.  Each challenge, argument and difference gives you an opportunity to open yourself to a new and deeper level.

This is certainly a challenge yes, a defeat, certainly not.

It is easy to blame our partners when the going gets tough, yet can you challenge yourself to accept the imperfections in your partner? If you find yourself starting to judge and criticize, be mindful that this is the quickest way for your partner to shut down and withdraw. What usually happens to you in that moment? Do you then feel abandoned or self-righteous, possibly shutting down yourself?

We then have a standoff and a power struggle that emerges. Take a risk and look inside yourself for at least 50% of the responsibility for the problems in your relationship. Look for the ways that you blame, judge or project your own dissatisfaction onto your partner and want them to fix it for you. Remember only you can change your own reality. Knowing and practicing this, will take you out of victimhood and into a state of greater empowerment.

Dare yourself to face your pain and to share this with your partner, taking responsibility for your feelings and not blaming.  If you need to, seek help from a therapist/counsellor to work through your blocks. We all have blind spots that we can’t or won’t see.

Remember to nurture yourself on all levels – body, heart, mind and soul. Take time to create rituals, exercise, meditate, relax, have fun and mix with positive people. This helps to create a good platform from which to dive into and enjoy a passionate, fulfilling and flowing life. This is a prerequisite for being able to love yourself and from this ‘whole place’ – you can then more freely and honestly love another (rather than demanding their love for you, when you don’t even love yourself).

You will always be two very unique people coming together from different families and beliefs. From this place, you are both a mystery and you need to come together honouring and respecting each other’s individuality. Do not underestimate the potential within each other, as we are like a good wine, maturing and evolving all the way through life. Provide the space and positive intention needed for each of you to evolve into all that you can be.

Stay true to your feelings, be comfortable with vulnerability and be prepared at all times to look for any hidden negativity – this is the greatest disease in any relationship.

As you take these steps and face your truth the flame between you will have the space to ignite. It may not be like the early honeymoon phase that has seemingly endless passion and agreement about everything, but in truth this next step is more real and gives you a deeper connection to your core – this is where the true magic can happen.

Leslee Hughes is one of the most senior members of Core Energetics in Australia.  She is an experienced Body Mind Psychotherapist (Somatic Psychotherapist) who works in Sydney  & the Central Coast of New South Wales NSW. Leslee is a Member of the Psychotherapy & Counselling Federation of Australia and a Clinical member of the Counsellor’s and Psychotherapists Association.

Leslee works one on one with individuals, couples, families and is able to do phone or Skype sessions.You can ring Leslee on 0407934499 or email mail@lesleehughes.com.au
Check out Leslee’s website for more details: www.lesleehughes.com.au